May 2013
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nobrainslob:
grotle:
if you want to find the biggest asshole at a party, leave an acoustic guitar out
‘i don’t know if you’ve heard of this one’ *opening chords to wonderwall*
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moonflowerlights:
If you’re having a bad day, just remember that the Raptor sounds from Jurassic Park were actually a recording of turtles having sex
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blein:
sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS...
sassbenderr:
trendy-blog:
the best feeling in the world is when you finish your homework early and you take a shower and you get to crawl into bed and surround yourself in blankets and pillows at 9:30 and go on your laptop and listen to music and take acid tabs until you begin hallucinating that satan is with you and allow him to guide you into killing your friends and family and eating their...
My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.
This only happens to me at work when people ask me shit.
sugarplumsandgunshots:
anarchowario:
veganrantss:
White people get mad when you wear a band t shirt of a band you don’t listen to, but they’re fine with wearing headdresses from cultures they know and care nothing about.
dat leap in logic
don’t let them see this. this gon fuck them up. they still gon do it, but its gon fuck them up.
Extraordinary Mother: owlapin: owlapin: owlapin:... →
thagoodthings:
owlapin:
owlapin:
owlapin:
MICROSOFT WORD HAS A FUCKING “INSERT CITATION” BUTTON WHY THE FUCK DID NO ONE EVER TELL ME THIS IS SIGNIFICANT INFORMATION FUCK THE SCHOOL SYSTEM THIS IS MICROSOFT WORD 2007 I SHOULD HAVE BEEN MADE AWARE OF THIS IN HIGHSCHOOL WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I HATE EVERYTHING
you can fucking log your sources into your document and then at the end press a...
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whorville:
I have bullshitted my way through almost two decades of life
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tw: rape
grilledan4lcheese:
if you falsely accuse a person of rape, you’re just as bad as a rapist. why? because you’re after nothing but power in the accused’s life. you could ruin them… everything they have going for them… their dreams, aspirations, the paths they’ve set out upon… and for what? a spiteful vengeance that will, if not immediately but surely, eat you alive? good one, ladies and gents....
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Something Black Parents Would Do
jcoleknowsbest:
setfabulazerstomaximumcaptain:
queennubian:
sadiiqsunra:
queennubian:
dignifiedking:
Young Black Kid: “I don’t want to go to college”
Parents: “Well what do you want to do?”
Young Black Kid: “I want to travel and explore the world”
Parents: ”With what money?!”
“Do you got ‘travel and explore the world’ money?”
It hurts so much because it’s true
It’s so...
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oakbaby:
“you’re going to make a man very happy someday” no im not. Im going to ruin his life
this is what i said to my dad the other day.
someone telling me to calm down when I was already calm unleashes a fury that not even hell can contain
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marina-del-cyrus:
Whenever I get period cramps
mixedbyziggy:
rescue three white women who have been missing for a decade, and a baby
become a national hero
pull and even bosser move and tell the fbi to give the reward money to the victims
media decides to dig into your past, and bring up your criminal record.
wonderful time to be black in america.
drarna:
can’t wait for the release of jurassic park 4D where they just let dinosaurs loose in the theater and you have to try to survive for 2 hours
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fauxkaren:
Ever since ONTD opened membership up…
(more so than usual, I mean)
Where’s the lie.
princesspunani:
drarna:
REALLY PISSES ME OFF WHEN YOU CATCH YOUR PARENTS GOSSIPING ABOUT YOU TO FAMILY MEMBERS LIKE TALK SHIT GET HIT BITCH
a white person that is NOT about that life made this post, I can feel it.
My mom talks about me to other family members all the time and most of time it’s when were all in the same room.
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Saw Iron Man 3
jimhalpert:
nocountryforx-men:
and like half the audience got up and left before the end of the credits
#Seriously how do you not know by now
People got places to go man. Not everyone has time to sit through the credits knowing that shit is on youtube when they get to where they need to go .
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Listen
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My Youngest Brother Needs To Start Being An Adult
He is so obviously being used by his girlfriend to drive her fucking places and it drives ms insane. My parents were super okay with him dropping out of college as long as he worked full time. He worked two days and then didn’t feel like working any more after that. They said he can’t use the car unless earlier that day he had gone to work yet every fucking night this dumb ass is out...
